11 Self-Inflicted Leadership Crisis Response Failure Behaviors (CRFBs)*

The Background

The Background

Early in my crisis response career, I had a revelation that all crises are patterns of human behavior. Furthermore, crisis response patterns themselves are pretty uniform across the board, geography, culture, and organization’s attitude.

In the next few pages, I discuss the problem of self-inflicted leadership and the behaviors that cause crisis response failure behaviors (CRFBs). These are the ingredients of the patterns of mistakes, errors, and intentional misbehaviors at play in crises.

The more senior you are, the more you are going to be skeptical and frustrated. The major takeaway from the hundreds of situations I’ve been through with clients is that these bad behaviors do happen. They are obstructive to response success. All are preventable. But first, we need to recognize the symptoms before we can understand the solutions required.

These leadership problems are explained in very plain straightforward language. I think you will find this approach to be refreshing in the absence of excuse-making, justification, and blame shifting.

Perhaps the most important issue in readiness is preparing management, leaders, and responders. Most critical of all is the emotional readiness to respond. It turns out that leadership emotional readiness is far more important in responding to urgent situations than logistical or tactical readiness.

11 Crisis Response Failure Behaviors (CRFBs)
In the Order They Occur

  1. Surprise
  2. Disbelief
  3. Silence
  4. Stalling
  5. Denial
  6. Victim Confusion
  7. Testosterosis
  8. Arrogance
  9. Search for the guilty
  10. Fear of the media
  11. Whining
  1. Surprise: Stems from the U.S. management culture that stresses the invincibility of managers and leaders. Today’s prevailing attitude is that smart managers are unlikely to suffer a crisis. The unintended consequence of this delusion is that much necessary readiness activity never takes place.

    Lesson 1: The smarter they are, the harder and faster they fall.

  2. Disbelief: Arises immediately in a crisis because of the ingrained belief that, “It must be a mistake. Crisis doesn’t happen here, to me.” So, the word goes forth to demonstrate that, “it’s a crisis” is false. Even if something adverse is clearly occurring, the lies begin. The instruction from management is interpreted to mean: “find out that it’s not a crisis,” plus, “don’t do or say anything until you talk to us.” The response is held up, and the cover-up expands.

    Lesson 2: In crises, badly handled things get worse from the start and stay worse.

  3. Silence: The most toxic strategy possible. Silence makes you look like a perpetrator, sound like a liar, and quickly become untrustable, whether you or someone else is at fault. How can leaders be seen as credible, reasonable, rational, or honorable while avoiding action and whining about the unfairness of it all while real victims are piling up?

    Lesson 3: Silence is quickly toxic to reputation and is the most frequent CEO career-killer.

  4. Stalling: The process of waiting to talk and holding up decision-making until the right information arrives. This step requires enforcing a period of toxic silence on everyone at the top and to various depths of management. Doing nothing, even for what appears to be good reasons, is unexplainable. The clock starts ticking on top management’s departure.

    Lesson 4: Speed of action and decision beats smart every time. When in doubt, do something.

  5. Denial: Refusal to accept the fact that something bad has really happened and that there may be victims or other direct negative effects that require prompt public acknowledgment, disclosure, and response.

    Lesson 5: Denial once underway has a momentum all its own.

  6. Victim Confusion: Begins occurring almost immediately. Senior management introduces minimizing whatever the “non-crisis” impact will be on the organization. That’s when a problem that starts in the field is appropriated into the C-suite. The leadership of an afflicted organization is distracted, even blindsided by the continued attention given to those who are victims: people, animals living systems, sometimes all three.

    Lesson 6: Management confusion, irritation, and humiliation boils, “Hey, we are victims too!”

    Lesson 7: Despite senior executives whining and warning, the visibility and concern will still focus on real victims rather than the organization’s good behavior over the years.

    Lesson 8: When there are victims, most goodwill bank accounts dry up.

    Lesson 9: The creation of victims quickly overwhelms most or all of your prior good deeds.

  7. Testosterosis: Often management’s first public response is to look for ways to hit back, rather than to deal with the problem. Refuse to give in, refuse to respect those who may have a difference of opinion or a legitimate issue. That’s because management’s first crisis response is usually emotional or emotionally driven. Crisis management always puts management in crisis. Testosterosis characterizes this puzzling and confusing first set of outbursts. Management testosterosis, spontaneous hitting back or striking preemptively, is the single most powerful recruiting tool trial lawyers need to secure clients, created freely by those now considered to be the perpetrator of the problem.

    Lesson 10: Like the crisis itself, things are about to get worse because crises always get worse before they get better. All crises ripen badly.

  8. Arrogance: Reluctance to apologize, express concern or empathy, or take appropriate responsibility because, “If we do that, we’ll be liable,” or, “We’ll look like sissies,” or, “We’ll set a precedent,” or, “There will be copycats.” Arrogance is also responsible for lack of readiness, which is an epidemic among arrogant inherently overly-optimistic, overly-confident management and leadership overwhelmed by crisis.

    Lesson 11: Every tick of the clock during this period of silence, confusion, stalling, and testosterosis represents a substantial nick in the organization’s reputation as well as the survivability of top management.

  9. Search for the guilty: Shift blame anywhere you can while digging into the organization, looking for traitors, turncoats, troublemakers, those who push back, and the unconvinceables.

    Lesson 12: The original order is changed to read, “Find out who screwed up.”

  10. Fear of the media: As it becomes more clear that the problem is at least partly real, the media begin asking, “What did you know, and when did you know it,” “What have you done, and when did you do it,” and other humiliating, embarrassing, and damaging questions for which have to be avoided because you have stalled so long.
  11. Whining: Head down, finger in your navel, shuffling around, whining, and complaining about how bad your luck is; about being a victim of the media, zealous do-gooders, wacko-activists, or that people don’t know anything; about how people you don’t respect have power; and, that you “don’t get credit” for whatever good you’ve already contributed.

The Biggest Lesson of All: A Surprise Ending

Leadership emotional readiness is far more important than logistical or tactical readiness.**

* Read the full article here.

**  For more on emotional readiness, read Helio Fred Garcia’s book, The Agony of Decision: Mental Readiness and Leadership in a Crisis © 2027, Logos Institute Best Practice Series, published by Logos Institute for Crisis Management and Executive Leadership.

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting forbidden.

Over the years, I’ve developed, taught, coached and advocated a very powerful and helpful communication philosophy. At the same time, this approach defines my ethical approach to life, work and trouble. I call these “intentions” because this is how I seek to operate my life every day, and to teach others to do the same. These behaviors build trust and reduce fear.

  1. Candor – Truth with an attitude, delivered now (the foundation blocks of trust).
    • Disclose, announce early.
    • Explain reasoning and reasons.
    • Discuss options, alternatives considered.
    • Provide unsolicited helpful information.
  2. Openness, accessibility – Be available for the disasters as well as the ribbon cuttings.
    • Be available.
    • Be willing to respond.
  3. Truthfulness – Truth is 15% facts and data, 85% emotion and point-of-reference.
    • Point of reference matters more than facts.
    • Factual overload victimizes people and makes them feel stupid, therefore angrier.
    • Unconditional honesty, from the start.
    • Get good at handling emotional situations, subjects and people.
  4. Empathy – Action always speaks louder than words.
    • Action illustrates concern, sensitivity, and compassion.
    • Act as though it was happening to you or someone you care about.
    • It is literally impossible to put yourself in someone else’s shoes in any meaningful way, from the victim’s perspective.
  5. Responsiveness – Answering questions relentlessly in every situation validates your integrity.
    • Every concern or question, regardless of the source, is legitimate and must be addressed.
    • Answer every question; avoid judging the questioner.
    • Avoid taking any question personally.
    • Build followers and be nice, even in the face of anger or aggressive negativity. Anger and arrogance create plaintiffs.
  6. Transparency – No secrets (because important things and stupid stuff always come out).
    • Our behavior, our attitude, our plans, even our strategic discussions are unchallengeable, positive, and explainable.
    • Our families would be comfortable reading about our actions, decisions, and discussions on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper.
  7. Engagement – Face-to-face is the communications approach desired by just about everyone and every victim.
    • Take aggressive positive interaction with those who challenge us.
    • Our base and those who give us permission to operate expect us to deal with unconvinceables and victims.
    • Prompt direct interactive response, even negotiation, empowers the initiator.
  8. Destiny Management – It’s your destiny, which only you can manage in your own best interest.
    • Manage your own destiny, or you’ll find someone waiting on the sidelines to do it for you.
    • Relentlessly correct and clarify the record.
    • Prompt, positive, constructive elaboration of the facts preempts critics and empowers employees, supporters and those who give us permission to operate.
  9. Apology – The atomic energy of empathy. Apologies stop just about everything, including litigation.
    • Acknowledge personal responsibility for having injured, insulted, failed, or wronged another.
    • Explain what happened and the known reasons for the circumstance.
    • Talk about what you and your organization have learned that will help prevent it from ever happening again.
    • Humbly ask for forgiveness in exchange for more appropriate future behavior and to make amends.
    • Make restitution.

You can call this anything you like: communications policy, guidelines or manifesto.
I like the word intentions because it signifies that we are fully engaged in communicating
in the most effective, honest, empathetic and open manner possible, all the time.

By publicly professing these intentions you will set a standard to which you can be held accountable.
This behavior can lead to an extraordinarily interesting, useful and trustworthy life and besides,
you sleep better at night.

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski, “Influencing Leaders, The Seven Disciplines of the Trusted Strategic Advisor,” Wiley; pages 62-65. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting forbidden.

The questions people ask me most frequently are:

  1. How did you get to where you are?
  2. How do I move from being known as the person who gets things done around here to the person who advises leaders, important people, and important groups on what to do next?
  3. How do I go around my boss who takes all the credit for what I accomplish?

My answer is . . .  Build your own visibility.

Step 1: Follow Lukaszewski’ visibility success strategies. Remember that You’re On Your Own (YOYO), at least at the start.

First of all, observe Lukaszewski’s anti-griping rule, Stop Whining Around about this, or anything, 50% of those who hear you can’t, don’t, and won’t care; 25% of those who hear you have problems worse than yours; The remaining 25% are likely glad you have the problems you have. Quit your bellyaching.

Step 2: Join and become visible in professional organizations and associations

  • American Society of Association Executives
  • Business associations
  • International Association of Business Communicators
  • Local Chamber of Commerce
  • Public Relations Society of America
  • National Speakers Association
  • Rotary

Join and participate in organizations and associations where you have special knowledge. Check out and, if you can, join the associations your bosses participate in and find ways to be recognized, to be visible.

All of these organizations are seeking content for their members. Writing things for association publications might get you invitations to speak before these audiences, if you care to.

  • Talk, teach, and write about important subjects in your professional area, in your community, and current important topics already being talked about.
  • Always talk about ways your audiences can achieve the golden aspirations they have, from their perspective.

Step 3: Get busy building your own visibility. It’s your destiny and you’re responsible for managing it. You’ll be surprised how many will help you work on it if you make yourself relevant to their lives.

  1. Be the table: act like it, believe it, live it, be it. Study Influencing Leaders.
  2. Begin and stick with the truth about you, your success, and everything else.
  3. Be earnest but unstoppable.
  4. Forecast what you are ready to do.
  5. Give more than you get.
  6. Help others get what they want from their perspective, they will help you get what you want.
  7. Start raising and answering tough questions. Work, talk, teach, publish.
  8. Learn how to answer four kinds of questions:
    • Killer questions, the reputation busters, and some begging for answers.
    • Questions you’d love to respond to if only someone would ask you. (Provide the questions to interviewers, editorialists, and others.)
    • Questions out there that need answering, but one needs to step up.
    • Questions from platforms you could offer good answers for.
  9. Publicly recognize others you respect and recommend. You will be honored and remembered in return.
  10. Find audiences for your thinking, business groups, trade associations, service clubs, and military groups through their Public Affairs offices.
  11. Preach, teach, and advocate to others how to be successful and solve problems like you can. Share everything you know how to do.
  12. Get really good at presentations in person and on Zoom, build your visibility on LinkedIn.
    • Do senior-level seminars for other management teams, leaders, and other organizations in your industry.
    • Get on podcasts and do webinars. Let management know about it. Send them the scripts.
  13. Write and publish helpful and predictive articles in trade association publications and business journals, local and national business magazines, and available websites and platforms seeking helpful leadership information.
  14. Speak up. Stand up.
  15. Be persistent. Keep suggesting. Keep proposing. Ask for help. Remember the Andy Anderson Success axiom, “No’s Are Just Short Stops on the Way to Yes!”
  16. Remember the YOYO rule for getting ahead in your world . . .You’re On Your Own. Make your own way, every day.
  17. What you want to start, stand for, and to do was and will always be up to you to accomplish.
  18. Remember the be-attitudes of success in a YOYO world: Be positive, be helpful, be useful, be hopeful, be honest.
  19. Assess your own progress at the end of every day: What did you learn, what was most useful, what was most helpful, what was most unusual?
  20. The bottom line: Have a great life getting more attention from a wide variety of people, your immediate boss and your boss’ boss included.

Start Now!
Good luck
Let me know how I can help.
203-948-7029
jel@e911.com

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting is forbidden.

From the time I began helping people have interviews to giving hundreds of interviews about my own work, I’ve kept rigorous records of what works to get my points across in interviews and defeating or redirecting questioner attempts to have me say what they want. This document is the essence of those notes and records. Rather than use a “do” and “don’t” approach, let’s just learn the “do’s” and you’ll see an immediate change in your success rate and for those you advise. Please pay attention.

The principal lesson is that if you violate these realities of interviewing in any way, you’re the one, or those you help, who suffer the consequences. Start doing what you’re supposed to and forget the rest.

1. Speak only for yourself.

Say less, write less, but make these communications truly important.

2. Answer every question.

Aim for 75-to 150-word responses; this is 30–60 seconds reading or speaking time. Honorable organizations, people, programs, and initiatives can answer any question.

3. Always let others speak for themselves.

When you try to speak for others, you will always be wrong and attacked or humiliated for being wrong.

4. Avoid claiming that you agree with your attacker or detractors on anything, unless they say so, publicly, first.

Once opponents say it, you may quote them saying it, but always say what you believe to be true and back that up.

5. Avoid saying that you work closely with public agencies, other organizations.

Avoid also saying you work closely with individuals related to your situation (even if you believe you do), unless they say so first and you then quote them. Otherwise, they can deny it (especially if controversy arises) or point out, as some may quite quickly, that whatever links exist are rather weak. They will then describe those weaknesses or deny that you have any real influence.

Those who can and may support you in the future (public or private) must have their status preserved for the long run. Drawing them into your discussion or controversy could needlessly make them targets. They will have to abandon or, perhaps, denounce or distance themselves from you.

6. Assume that everyone in the discussion has more credibility than you do.

Your job is to validate your credibility, every time, rather than to discredit others.

7. Be relentlessly positive.

Avoid all negative words and be constructive. Avoid criticizing and criticism. Both provide the fuel opponents thrive on.

8. Focus on the truly important.

Forget the rest. Respond to and develop what truly matters. Then move on.

9. Let attackers discredit themselves.

Their emotional words and negative, destructive language equals less truth and trustworthiness. Avoid “friends” who suggest this approach. It will always backfire.

10. Practice laggership.

Speak second, but quickly and always have the last word.

11. Remain calm; be positive.

Critics, agitators, and bullies are energized by anger, emotionalism, whininess, and negative counter attacks.

12. Silence is always toxic to the accused. Speak up.

Fail to speak up and, after a short while, even your friends will sacrifice or question you.

13. Apologies are always in order.

Be sure your apology contains all of the crucial ingredients of an effective apology. The most constructive structures for apology are in The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships, a book by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. Here, with some paraphrasing and modification based on our experience, are the ingredients of the perfect apology.

1. Regret (acknowledgment): A verbal acknowledgment by the perpetrator that their wrongful behavior caused unnecessary pain, suffering, and hurt that identifies, specifically, what action or behavior is responsible for the pain.
2. Accepting Responsibility (declaration): An unconditional declarative statement by the perpetrator recognizing their wrongful behavior and acknowledging that there is no excuse for the behavior.
3. Restitution (penance): An offer of help or assistance to victims, by the perpetrator; action beyond the words “I’m sorry”; and conduct that assumes the responsibility to make the situation right.
4. Repentance (humility): Language by the perpetrator acknowledging that this behavior caused pain and suffering for which he/she is genuinely sorry; a commitment to do what is necessary to prevent a recurrence of what caused that pain.
5. Direct Forgiveness Request: “I was wrong, I hurt you, and I ask you to forgive me.” This is a transfer of power, explicitly giving the person who was harmed the power to choose whether to forgive the person who caused harm. The most difficult and challenging aspects of apologizing are the admission of having done something hurtful, damaging, or wrong, and to request forgiveness. Skip even one step and you fail.
14. Have courage and refuse to be distracted.

Be ready for negativity, friendly pressure, or the agendas of others. You are in the spotlight. They are in the shadows. Be especially wary of those who feel that responding empowers others, or that you might look weak for having done it. Either of these outcomes is better than being considered boorish, bullying, arrogant, or callous.

15. Discourage others from explaining your situation.

They will get it wrong. You will be blamed, and they will be attacked. They will then have to abandon you altogether, keep some distance, or attack you to preserve their own credibility.

16. Everything that goes around, comes around.

Avoid the words, phrases, arguments, assertions, and statements you write or say that you know you will have to eat sometime in the future.

17. Remember the math of truth.

Truth is 15% facts and data and 85% emotion and perception; Facts do matter, but addressing the emotional component of issues and questions immediately, continuously, and constructively is essential for success.

18. Be strategic.

Say, act, plan, and write with future impact in mind.

19. Prepare to work alone.

Be ready to be abandoned by just about everyone.

20. Stay at altitude.

Keep a distance, avoid taking events or actions personally, and be reasoned, appropriate, and direct. Positive and constructive responses tend to disempower those making the attacks.

21. Keep testosterosis under control.

Every bit of negative energy you throw in their direction will multiply by a factor of five to 10, and they will throw it right back at you.

22. Be preemptive.

Work in real time. Do it now, fix it now, ask it now, correct it now, challenge it now, and answer it now.

23. Be constructive.

Write and speak simply, sensibly, positively, empathetically, and constructively.

24. Avoid trying to discredit anyone, any argument, any evidence, or any movement.

Such actions stimulate the creation of more critics and adversaries who accumulate, hang around, live forever, and search relentlessly to exploit your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and susceptibilities. Remember, your adversaries have tons of stuff readily available to dump on you should you negatively attack them. They’ve been watching you for months, perhaps longer, and are prepared to reload and reshoot in a moment of your irritation. Prove your position with positive, declarative language.

25. Hang in there.

Get accustomed to the long-term, relentlessly negative nature of contentious situations.

26. Correct, clarify, and comment on matters promptly.

Correct on your own media platforms. Avoid joining blogs or conversations outside your site. The latter strategy will suck all of your energy into responding to the agendas of others who are having fun and sleeping well, while you are doing neither.

27. It is your destiny.

Fail to manage it, and someone else is waiting in the wings to do it for you.

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting is forbidden.

Think Not Talking Will Save You?
Guess Again, While Your Reputation and Your
World Crumble

7 Toxic Reputational Disasters Caused by Self-Inflicted Silence

  1. Silence is toxic! I know you know this.
  2. Silence is communication reputation suicide.
  3. Silence is a profoundly stupid, irreversible choice.
  4. Silence is a permanent, memorable mistake.
  5. Silence, when you are wrong, betrays everyone who ever trusted you.
  6. Silence makes you look like a perpetrator or predator, or someone who helps them.
  7. Self-imposed gaps in communication often cause recurrent, forever problems.

Your silence means you:

  • Can’t blame the lawyers. Perpetrators are in charge of their own integrity.
  • Can’t blame the bosses. The perceived perpetrator manages their own sense of honesty.
  • Can’t blame the media. This kind of behavior is what they thrive on.
  • Can’t blame the bloggers, bloviators, or backbench quarterbacks. It’s your reputation vacuum, your destiny. Remain silent, and someone else will fill the void with what you are trying to avoid.

For those perpetrators who fail to manage their own destiny, someone is waiting on a digital platform somewhere, or with the evening news, to do it for them.

Silence prevents your friends and supporters from helping you.

Silence – followed by the perfect response arriving late, by surprise, and where the communications are mumbled, bumbled, and bungled – will always be described and remembered as mumbled, bumbled, and bungled.

Silence followed by the perfect response produces the same embarrassing, humiliating, predictable questions every time:

  • Where were you?
  • Is this all you have?
  • What were you thinking?
  • What were you waiting for?
  • Why did you cover this up?
  • Isn’t this just too little too late?

The Universal Law of Personally Inflicted
Communication and Reputation Disasters

No one really cares about what happens to perpetrators, especially those who are truly self-inflicted. They will be fun to poke at, though.

BEST ADVICE: Avoid the Reputation Repair Boys

Using these incredibly obvious and transparent tactics makes you both liars. Get to the truth. Say it out loud and say it often. It’s truth that restores integrity.

 Nominate a JAM in your life for the South End Award, for behaving like the south end of a northbound horse! Spotting them is easy . . .  you hate them.
  1. Their words, deeds, or actions often vilify, defame, slander, abuse, or malign.
  2. They use sarcasm to ridicule, damage, demean, disparage, dismiss, diminish, or humiliate.
  3. Their words are arrogant, causing needless but intentional pain and suffering.
  4. Their words clearly express frustration, anger, and irritation.
  5. Their words, deeds, or actions are demanding and bullying.
  6. Their words are mostly just plain mean.
  7. Their words intentionally cut and insult.
  8. Their words are corrosive and disrespectful.
  9. Their words are tone deaf and disparaging.
  10. They speak and behave without empathy.
  11. Their words mindlessly and intentionally shame and injure.
  12. Their words, deeds, or actions intentionally injure and hurt.
  13. Their words spread phony accusations and suspicion.
  14. Their words exhibit overbearing and overzealousness.
  15. Their purpose is negative, punitive, defensive, harmful, and restricts others.
  16. Their words exceed the boundaries of decency, civility, and integrity.
  17. All Jackasses lie about everything, even when they say they are being truthful.
  18. All Jackass pathways lead to trouble, prolong problems, corrupt mitigation, defeat reconciliation, and confound resolution, it’s what they want.

If your boss has even one of these attributes, get out of there now!!

JAMs never change; they always promise that they will. It’s a lie. Just wait and see. (see #17). JAMs have been lying so frequently and for so long that they can’t remember what the truth is or was, but all victims do.

The true test of civility and decency is daily visible commitments to verbal and written communications that are predominantly positive, declarative, behaviors that are simple, sensitive, sensible, constructive, positive, helpful, empathetic, and benefit the recipient more than the sender.

True empathy means positive deeds that speak louder and more constructively than words.

How does bad news start? Often, as the result of defensive, negative answers to questions. Defensive responses guarantee tough, embarrassing, irritating, even insulting, follow-up questions from the media, colleagues, and stakeholders; and shuts down employee progress and productivity.

How do you avoid being defensive? First, try to eliminate the use of negative words – can’t, shouldn’t, won’t, don’t, mustn’t, not, no. Second, try to use positive power words – interesting, unusual, different, unique, powerful, essential, urgent. Negative responses always invite debates in negative terms.

The discipline of using positive language is the most powerful tool of leadership. Positive language leads to understandability, credibility, contention-reduction, and truthfulness. One of the most telling indicators of impending or existing leadership failure is the use of confusing, conflicting, erroneous, or damaging negative language. Leadership and achievement are about the future. Positive language is leadership language to the future.

To reduce conflict, eradicate these defensive answers and others like them. Instead consider a positive alternative.

Negative Statements Positive Alternatives
I don’t like that idea. What I’d like to see is . . . .
I don’t see the connection. Here’s what I think.
I wouldn’t say that. I would say . . . .
It can’t be done. There must be another way.
It didn’t happen that way. Here’s what happened.
It won’t work. What will work is . . . .
It’s against company policy. The company policy is . . . .
It’s never been done before. This is the first time I’ve heard of this.
It’s not my responsibility. This area is (blank’s) responsibility.
It’s too much trouble. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.
Our boss would never buy it. Here’s what the boss would do.
Our customers wouldn’t like it. Our customers prefer . . . .
Our people would never do that. Let’s ask people what they would like to do.
No comment. When there’s something to say, I will say it.
Not my job, unfortunately. My job is . . . .
Not that again. We’ve heard this before; it’s been rejected.
That isn’t our problem. It’s really (blank’s) problem.
That’s impossible. Here’s what is possible.
That’s not a good question. A better question is . . . .
That’s not our fault. Let’s find out whose fault it is.
We aren’t a bad company. We are a (blank) company.
We can’t change that fast. It will take longer to fix.
We can’t talk about it. When we can talk about it, we will.
We couldn’t have known. If we’d known, we would have . . . .
We did all right without it. Other options, such as (blank) worked better.
We didn’t know. We found out afterward.
We don’t care. Here’s what we care about.
We don’t have enough studies. We need better studies.
We don’t have the resources. All the resources are allocated elsewhere.
We don’t have the time. We are out of time.
We won’t have the money. Our resources are already committed.
We’re just too busy, we can’t. Let’s discuss priorities and make changes.
We’re not ready for that. It’s too early for that approach.
What you’re not saying is . . . What you’re really saying is . . . .
Why won’t you use everything I say? You need to do and say what I tell you.

Remember: There are three ways to answer questions. You can be positive, negative, or blah. Whichever style you use, it takes about the same amount of energy to answer. So, be positive! The benefit? It’s nearly impossible to be positive and defensive at the same time.

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting is forbidden.

7 Strategies to Wage Peace and Reduce Contention

Wherever there is conflict, confrontation, and crisis, there is contention. In today’s social media-dominated world, working to resolve important issues, the questions and decisions often become very contentious and ends only after one side is beaten and leaves the field; there is a mutual withdrawal; or most commonly, one side wins and the other side stays angry.

Winning, it turns out, is rarely about getting 51 percent of individuals or groups to concur or comply; it’s about getting 51 percent of those who matter. This thinking leads to an Axiom and a Law.

Lukaszewski’s 1st Axiom of Winning in Contentious Situations:

Almost every decision of any consequence is made despite serious, often powerful collateral contentiousness. The media can be mad or support someone else, some of your neighbors can be irritated, even your employees can be against you, but stay the course, be optimistic, be constructive in your approach, and you can win.

Lukaszewski’s Law of Success and Survival: 

Neither the media, your severest critic, angry neighbors, irritated legislators, nor regulators can truly stop what you have set out to accomplish. The most significant damage is almost always caused by the intervention, timidity, or hesitation of an overoptimistic boss or Board; well-meaning friends, “supporters,” or relatives; and failure to address the true issues raised by those who feel victimized.

These seven principles and components of a strategic approach for winning:

  1. Wage peace every day: Reduce the production of critics, enemies, and victims at every opportunity. Talk tough, act tough, or threaten and you will have war for sure. War produces casualties, victims, and new critics, all of whom will live long enough to destroy, delay, or deny your best efforts.
  2. Reduce contention: Contention is the absence of agreement. Work for agreement, incrementally, every day. Stop causing contention. Offer constructive options.
  3. Seek permission rather than entitlement: Getting permission depends upon gaining public agreement and consent. Avoid and resist anything, anyone, or any decision that delays, denies, disables, or damages the permission process. Act like you’re entitled to a public decision and you’ll really be stopped cold.
  4. Control testosterosis: Anger, irritation, frustration, and confrontation cloud judgment, damage relationships, cause misunderstandings, create critics and naysayers, and rarely accomplish anything good. Stop taking contrary views and negative messages personally. The only one who is suffering from this is you. No one else cares. Remain calm and carry on, constructively.
  5. Be democratic: Recognize and leverage from the patterns of democracy, and avoid political games and game players. All those people have their own egos and agendas. They will dump you in a minute.
  6. Work as directly as you can: Like most everything that matters in life, agreement is generally achieved when the principals commit to sit down face-to-face, bring in other affected parties, and directly work out their differences. Engagement builds stakeholder support and reduces the production of critics.
  7. Communicate intentionally: Success depends on simple, sensible, positive, declarative, and constructive communication, common sense, direct, prompt action, empathy, transparency, and engagement. Explain and constantly remind everyone of your communication and behavior intentions so they will know what to expect and how to behave in return.

Over the 40 years I’ve been helping clients get public permission, communities, critics, individuals, and organized opposition have consistently grown more intense and powerful in their ability to stop or significantly alter the plans of even the worthiest projects and powerful companies. With social media and the ability to marshal the power of AI, the number of dedicated human opposers will continue to grow.

The big lesson is that you can often achieve your objectives with people being upset, the media angry, your employees split, and in communities that may be more divided than unified. This document is the recipe for success.

Winning depends on altitude (keeping calm), attitude (focusing on the goal), and avoiding distractions.

  1. Candor: Public trust depends on receiving information well ahead of their actual need for it. The most toxic strategy is to fail to answer every question, provide key information after it is truly needed, or work to disparage, demean, or discredit those who oppose or have concerns about the project, and go to the trouble of making them public. Or, refuse to communicate. Silence will be toxic to you.
  2. Patience: Accomplishing your goals is going to take longer than you ever imagined, even to achieve interim milestones.
  3. Resources: Success will defy financial management. More money will be spent, requested, or required for things one never imagined would happen.
  4. Stomach Power: Set your stomach for all the lies, misunderstandings, deceptions, bad behaviors, and misrepresentations created by angry, frightened, unqualified people and victims with real power, combined with a willing media, and the outrageous motives they will ascribe to you, with all of your explanations, good work, and intentions just bouncing off.
  5. Staying Power: Community decision making is slow, sometimes silly, even stupid, sloppy, expensive, confusing, and emotionally driven. Settle back and go with the flow. Kick up, kick out, and you’ll go nowhere pretty quickly.
  6. Pragmatism: Winning means constantly waging peace and re-acquiring community consent daily. It means relentlessly doing the doable, knowing the knowable, getting the getable, and achieving the achievable. 
  7. Recognize Victory: Contention often masks victory. Be alert, be helpful, to ready to capture victory when it first appears.

If democracy is one thing, it is a process. Those who propose, if they can stay the course, can expect to achieve less than they had hoped (sometimes far less), but usually wind up with more than they need to successfully achieve their objectives, which are likely to change as the community has its say. If you believe that you are entitled to get what you are asking for, you are entitled only to disappointment.

Your goal is to help work preemptively, constructively, and productively to shorten the timelines and lower the barriers that are inevitable byproducts of public decision making. Wage peace and win earlier, if winning is possible at all.

©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting is forbidden.

For more than 40 years I have been teaching and pleading about ways to handle crises effectively. Given that the number of crises has remained the same during that time frame, I’m going to take a different approach.

But first, let me share my philosophy about crisis management and mismanagement.

How Problems Become Crises

Almost all crises begin as smaller, manageable organizational or leadership problems. Problems migrate into crises for three crucial reasons:

  1. Management ignores problematic issues in their formative stages before actual crises begin happening.
  2. All crises create victims, and they are intentionally ignored, and often defensively attacked. It is a behavior that is learned both in management school and as a practice by upper-level managers and leaders.  I refer to this often as “cohort domination.” It’s like calling your cohort member or mom before you call the fire department.
  3. Knowing intuitively what the correct steps are likely to be, but refusing to go in that direction, because it’s irritating, it’s an admission of failure, or you want to try something different just for the hell of it. That’s called, “Risk addiction.”

The Seven Intentional Bungles

  1. Offensive Defensiveness: It feels good to stick it to the media, it’s okay to look like a perpetrator, and smart people will admire this approach. Even though there will be criticism, I’ll take that risk. The risk is taken because the odds are only 50/50 that the situation will even be seen as a crisis.
  2. Stalling: Look, doing nothing is equal in potential outcomes to doing something. Even though there will be difficulty in explaining why it took so long to talk, to explain, to respond, to care for victims, you’re tired of having people you don’t know (particularly the media) fail to commiserate with your problems about which they know absolutely nothing.
  3. Denial, Denial, Denial: Taking action is too often a demonstration of weakness and lack of confidence. You can’t let a bunch of questionable victims, people you don’t believe, and money grabbers dictate your response activities and those of your organization.
  4. Ignore the Complainers: Reporters and activists are bellyachers and make things up. People fail to take into consideration all the things we contribute to the economy–jobs and opportunity. The victims just want money and attention, which they haven’t earned and do not deserve. We are real Victims, too. Why don’t the media and our critics see that?
  5. Testosterosis: “My attorney is right to suggest that we need to punch back rather than cop out.” Refusing to give in to specious demands, especially to people who simply have uninformed views, is a legitimate management response. Landing the first punch will keep them off-balance and make them go away faster.
  6. Being Decisively Indecisive: If we appear to take responsibility, bad things are going to happen to us. We will look like weaklings to our industry, colleagues, and cohort. We don’t want to be the one to set a precedent that burdens the industry or triggers copycat behaviors.
  7. Empty Empathy: There are worse perpetrators. The real culprits must be defined as people who can and should take the blame for what’s happening. It can’t be us. No one is going to be allowed to stick this on me, or on my company. Who is looking for them?

    There are many more eligible bungles; but do even one or two of these listed above, and your crisis status will only accelerate and become more complex.

    ©2026, James E. Lukaszewski. Contact the copyright holder at jel@e911.com for information and reproduction permissions. Editing or excerpting is forbidden.