Tag: manifesto

LUKASZEWSKI’S CONTENTION SURVIVAL MANIFESTO

Keeping Yourself and the Things That Matter Under Control

This manifesto is a personal and often publicly declared set of principles, policies, or intentions for addressing contentious public circumstances and situations, and behaving with integrity, honesty, and even good humor.

These are the disciplines (real personal rules) for winning in the irritating, aggravating, agitating environment of being under attack in the news media— personally, politically, or professionally. You can succeed even in the face of contentious people, angry neighbors, negative media coverage, and irritated public officials and relentless pounding in social media. Having coached, then attended dozens and dozens of senior level live fire interviews, public appearances, negotiations, and confrontations, I have identified both failure and success behaviors. The results of these observations are 27 observable and measurable disciplines. This is a workable formula for significantly improving the results of interviews, public appearances, negotiations, and confrontations and other required public performances by senior level individuals. Give it a try.

  1. Speak only for yourself. Say less, write less, but make these communications truly important. Resist speaking for others.
  2. Answer every question. Aim for 75-150 word responses; this is 30-60 seconds reading or speaking time. Honorable organizations, people, programs, and initiatives strive to answer any question, now.
  3. Always let others speak for themselves. When you try to speak for others, you will always be wrong, and attacked or humiliated for being wrong.
  4. Avoid claiming that you agree with your opponents on anything, unless they say so first. Once opponents or allies say it, you may quote them saying it, but always say what you believe to be true and back that up.
  5. Avoid saying that you work closely with public agencies, other helping organizations, or even individuals related to your situation (even if you believe you do), unless they say so first and you then quote them. Otherwise, they can deny it (especially if controversy arises) or point out, as some may quite quickly, that whatever links exist are rather weak. They will then describe those weaknesses or deny that you have any real influence. Those who can and may support you in the future (public or private) must have their status preserved for the long run. Drawing them into your discussion could needlessly make them targets of attack. They will have to abandon or, perhaps, denounce or distance themselves from you.
  6. Assume that everyone in the discussion has more credibility than you do. It’s often true. Your job is to validate your credibility, every time, rather than to discredit others.
  7. Be relentlessly positive (avoid all negative words) and constructive (avoid criticizing and criticism). Both provide the fuel opponents thrive on.
  8. Focus on the truly important 5%; forget the rest. Respond to and develop what truly matters.
  9. Let attackers discredit themselves. Their emotional words and negative, destructive language equals less truth and trustworthiness. Avoid “friends” who suggest this approach. Answering negative charges or accusations will always backfire.
  10. Practice laggership. Speak second but always have the last word.
  11. Remain calm, be positive. Critics, agitators, and bullies are energized by anger, emotionalism, whininess, and negative counter attacks. Strategy 6, Waging Peace\PR Reporter, Strategy 6, Waging Peace, 6-21-99
  12. Silence is always toxic to the accused (you). After a while, even your friends will sacrifice, question you, or sell you out.
  13. Apologies are always in order, provided they contain all of the crucial ingredients of an effective apology. The most constructive structures for apology are in The Five Languages of Apology, a book by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas (The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships, Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas; Northfield Publishing, September 1, 2006; ISBN 1881273571). Here, with some paraphrasing and modification based on my experiences, are the ingredients of The Perfect Apology.
  • Regret (acknowledgment): A verbal acknowledgement by the perpetrator that their wrongful behavior caused unnecessary pain, suffering, and hurt that identifies, specifically, what action or behavior is responsible for the pain.
  • Accepting Responsibility (declaration): An unconditional declarative statement by the perpetrator recognizing their wrongful behavior and acknowledging that there is no excuse for the behavior.
  • Restitution (penance): An offer of help or assistance to victims, by the perpetrator; action beyond the words “I’m sorry”; and conduct that assumes the responsibility to make the situation right.
  • Repentance (humility): Language by the perpetrator acknowledging that this behavior caused pain and suffering for which he/she is genuinely sorry; language by the perpetrator recognizing that serious, unnecessary harm and emotional damage was caused.
  • Direct Forgiveness Request: “I was wrong, I hurt you, and I ask you to forgive me.”

The most difficult and challenging aspects of apologizing are the admission of having done something hurtful, damaging, or wrong, and to request forgiveness. Skip even one step and you fail.

14. Have courage, and refuse to be distracted by negativity, friendly pressure, or the agendas of others. It’s you in the spotlight. They are in the shadows. Be especially wary of those who feel that responding empowers others, or that you might look like a sissy for having done it. Either of these outcomes is better than being considered boorish, bullyish, arrogant, or callous.

15. Discourage others from explaining your situation. They will get it wrong. You will be blamed, and they will be attacked. They will then have to abandon you altogether, keep some distance, or attack you to preserve their own credibility.

16. Everything that goes around comes back around. Avoid verbal vegetables, the words phrases, arguments, assertions, and statements you write or say that you know you will have to eat some time in the future.

17.Remember the math of truth: Truth is 15% facts and data and 85% emotion and perception; 65% of truth is point of reference (my backyard or neighborhood). Facts do matter, but addressing the emotional component of issues and questions immediately, continuously, and constructively is essential for success.

18. Be strategic. Say, act, plan, and write with future impact in mind.

19. Prepare to work alone and to be abandoned by just about everyone. Because you will be, at first.

20. Stay at altitude, keep a distance, avoid taking events or actions personally, and be reasoned, appropriate, and direct. Positive and constructive responses tend to disempower those making the attacks.

21. Keep the testosterosis under control. Every bit of negative energy you throw in their direction will multiply by a factor of five to 10, and they will throw it right back at you.

22. Be preemptive. Work in real time. Do it now, fix it now, ask it now, correct it now, challenge it now, and answer it now.

23. Write and speak simply, sensibly, positively, empathetically, and constructively.

24. Avoid trying to discredit anyone, any argument, any evidence, or any movement. Such actions stimulate the creation of more critics and adversaries; who accumulate, hang around, live forever, and search relentlessly to exploit your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and susceptibilities. Remember, your adversaries have tons of stuff readily available to dump on you should you negatively attack them. They’ve been watching you for months, perhaps longer and are prepared to reload and reshoot in a moment of your irritation. Prove your position with positive, declarative language.

25. Get accustomed to accommodating the long-term, relentlessly negative nature of contentious situations.

26. Correct, clarify, and comment on what matters promptly, but do it all on your own Web site. Avoid joining blogs or conversations outside your site. The latter strategy will suck all of your energy into responding to the agendas of others who are having fun and sleeping well, while you are doing neither. Strategy 28, Control Your Own Destiny, Corrections & Clarifications, 3 Models c 2014\PR Reporter, Strategy 28, Control Your Own Destiny, Corrections & Clarifications, 3 Models c 201426.

    27. It is your destiny. Fail to manage it, and someone else is waiting in the wings to do it for you.

    Special Note:

    This was originally published as an information memo to my clients called, “Avoiding 27 Career Redefining Mistakes.” The response I got was immediate. Most everyone asked me to make a list of positive and constructive actions they can do to avoid those future mistakes. The result is this concise advice.

    Keep it handy.

    Your Integrity Manifesto
    The Ingredients of Integrity and Trust

    Credibility and Trust are built on the fundamentally acceptable behavior of an organization and its leaders. The approach advocated here comes from observing hundreds of leaders and managers over 40 years and how they achieved a reputation for trustable behavior.

    In general, these managers believed in or had a mantra similar to; “Credibility is conferred on us based on our past behavior.”

    Seven Trust and Credibility Beliefs and Behaviors;
     The Ingredients of Integrity

    These Seven actionable tasks or assignments, when executed by leadership example and emulated by everyone in the organization fosters a reputation for trust and credibility and demonstrates extraordinary integrity.

    I call this a manifesto because it contains language publicly professed to motivate, activate, energize, and inspire constructive action. It’s a public commitment to do what you say you’ll do,  proof of your integrity, and a powerful proof of leadership. Employees love to talk about concepts like these.

    1. “When problems occur, we’ll be prepared to talk openly about them and act quickly to respond to them operationally.”
    2. “If the public should know about an issue or problem which could affect them, we will voluntarily talk about it as quickly and as completely as we can.”
    3. “When problems or changes occur, we will keep the community posted on a schedule they set until the problem or changes have been thoroughly explained or resolved.”
    4. “We will answer every question the community may have and suggest and volunteer additional information on matters the community has yet asked questions about, but will.”
    5. “We will answer every question, as long as questions are being asked, no matter how many times a question is asked and answered. When people stop asking questions, we will continue to publicize questions and answers to assure that all those affected by decisions and actions have a chance to recognize the information we’re providing.”
    6. “We will be cooperative with the various news platforms and organizations, but our primary responsibility is to communicate directly with those most directly affected by our actions as soon as possible.”
    7. “We will respect and seek to work with those who oppose us.”